So I’m currently training to become a teacher… And boy it’s been a challenge. I have had many moments during my training where I have been overcome with many questions: “Can I do this?”, “Did I make the right decision?”, “Maybe I need to go back to my old job!”, “Maybe I should have done … over …”.
These questions plague my mind on a daily basis. And every time I would try to entertain these thoughts and create a new plan in case I made the wrong decision here, I’d always be drawn back to the same conclusion… That I am exactly where I am supposed to be… Here, in this present moment, pursuing this specific thing. It’s funny how our minds spiral when we are faced with discomfort. My mind is constantly looking for an escape route when all that I need to do is be resilient. I have made the correct decision, and I have grown tremendously since starting this course in September 2021. It is about to mark two months since I have started this course, and Lord! It’s been a journey. But thankfully, I finally feel settled, and in flow, and that is because I have let go of the past. I have released the past using my breath, and I have let it stay there. I am in a completely new space, and I am learning to cope with this transition phase.
Transitions aren’t easy and it’s okay. They can be a bit messy, and gut-wrenching, and you kinda have to grieve the loss of your past life. And that’s fair. I am in a foreign space right now and I welcome it with open arms. This year is going to fly by so fast that I will begin to also miss this current moment. But I am here right now, so I allow myself to take in the wisdom of the present moment without judgment. Yes, I miss my past, but that is okay. I spent a lot of time there and didn’t anticipate this change, so it’s okay. But I need to move in and lean into the present moment, and not miss out on what has been ordained for me, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I HAVE PRAYED FOR THIS A WHOLE YEAR AGO. I am living in my answered prayers!!!!! I need to top it up with gratitude now.
I am finding my PGCE hard… But that is okay, why? Because I can do hard things. I am resilient! I will bounce back. I am supported. I am taken care of… I am loved here.
